Thursday, March 19, 2009
More Prayers Please
I hadn't planned on posting, before I had something definitive to report...until I was reminded of the power of prayer. Over the course of the last 18 hours, I've prayed and cried myself into an empty vessel condition. Now it's time to call in for reinforcements!
Yesterday afternoon, while my 7 year old was playing outside with our puppy, Gretel (pup) ran into the street and got hit by a car...which never bothered to stop. I'll spare you all the heartwrenching details, although the tape keeps playing & playing & playing, in my head. Gretel is alive...I should have started with that. She is very seriously injured, though (pelvis broken in several places, broken hind leg, serious concussion) and will need surgery. They stabilized her, overnight, at the emergency clinic, then we were back to our regular vet first thing this morning. She was alert and SO happy to see us when I picked her up. The surgeon will evaluate her this afternoon. That covers my fluffy baby's medical condition.
What weighs as/more heavily on my heart is my daughter's emotional state. She is, obviously, haunted by the images/ sounds of the car...she blames herself...and she's negotiating fiercely, with God, about leaving Gretel with us (she asked that He count the number of puppies He already has and reminded him that we only have one). The vet bills are already through the roof and will surely climb higher. As much as I hate that reality, as a single mom it is my reality. The best case scenario: the surgery will be fairly simple and Gretel will fully recuperate. The not-so-good scenario: she will live with chronic pain & have limited mobility. It then becomes a quality of life issue. I hate the way that sounds/ looks..."quality of life"...who am I to determine (for another living being) how good or how challenging their life "should" be?
Oh, my brain and heart are so muddled right now. I'm trying to juggle what's best for my Gretel, for my daughter and for our family as a whole. Rarely do I have moments where I am so uncomfortable doing all of this "alone", but this sure is one of those moments.
***I didn't include a picture of my son with Gretel because...well, he isn't terribly fond of her, so we don't have any :-(