Playing with Pictures

Normally, I am very persistent when facing challenges, but I am on the brink of surrendering to, what is clearly, an inability to take decent pictures. In spite of my cute, new camera and the discovery of the Photobucket editing program, the pictures that land up on my computer monitor do not come close to those I've captured in my mind's eye. I will, for at least a bit longer, plug along and hope that I have one of those "AHA!" moments when everything "clicks". In the meantime, I trust that your wonderfully creative imaginations somehow transform my awkward attempts into something lovely. I was pouring through older pictures of my children and decided, perhaps, they (the pictures, not my beautiful kids) would look better in a collage. Worth a try!
***Lest it appear that I favor my daughter over my son, I offer this disclaimer: he has made it perfectly clear that he wants no part in my blog and has "forbidden" me from mentioning him. Does he forget that I brought him into this world..... My daughter, on the other hand, would happily star in each and every posting!

The Pansies are Popping!

Perhaps I will, a little later, write about the grueling 24 hours I have spent with my ex-husband, following surgery he had to rebuild his shoulder...and the insanity I face in trying to now prepare for the baby shower I'm throwing on Sunday. Perhaps I won't. Suffice it to say, I am emotionally & physically exhausted and, somehow, have to find the energy to do what needs to be done. C'mon God, some divinely-inspired endurance would be greatly appreciated right now!
Focusing on the task at hand: Pansies! Well, technically it is a single pansy I am referring to, but one is enough to remind me that: hope springs eternal. Following a night devoid of slumber, my children and I came home this morning and, as I was shuffling up my walkway, in a semi-comatose state, I saw...out of the corner of my eye...a purple pansy. Visual hallucinations wouldn't be out of the question at this point, so I asked my kids to confirm the sighting. They affirmed that there was, indeed, a flower in the garden...albeit with a lot less enthusiasm than that which filled my spring-loving heart. "Big deal, Mom. ONE flower in the garden and it'll die tonight when it gets cold again", says my eldest (very adolescent) child. Big deal, indeed! Clearly the metaphorical significance of this single bloom was lost on his jaded sense of hope and the blessings of things to come. Thankfully, my daughter was indulgent enough to stand outside with me while I snapped picture after picture of this glorious flower.
***an aside: I got a new camera from my best (guy) friend, for Valentine's Day! It has all kinds of bells and whistles, which I still need to figure out, but I am feeling certain that my fuzzy, too dark/ light picture dilemmas are going to be a thing of the past! To make my gift all the sweeter, my new camera is pale pink...I'm such a girly-girl!
Thank you, God, for putting that sweet pansy in my path today. Thank you, Glenn, for such a wonderful gift. As for the other blessings in my day, I'm sure they, too, will become apparent if I can keep my eyes open long enough to see them :-)

Remembering When...

There are times, when my children are particularly challenging, when I need to take a walk down memory lane...back to a time/ place when they didn't both think I was the most embarrassing, least cool human God ever created! Old pictures are the perfect partner for that kind of stroll. I came across these, which were taken 3 summers ago, during a business trip my ex-husband took us on, to a gorgeous resort in New Hampshire. We hadn't planned on accompanying him, which made the adventure all the more enjoyable. While he was busily presenting at the seminars, the kids and I had a wonderful time exploring the quaint, little resort village and taking a ride on a paddle boat. The ride came to a screeching halt when my daughter pointed out all of the funny black "fish" stuck to the side of our boat....leeches! At that moment, I lost all sense of reason and didn't CARE that they couldn't/ wouldn't possibly gnaw through the side of our aluminum carrier. I was going to walk on water (with or without children in tow) to escape this scene out of a Stephen King novel. EWWW! The picture was, obviously, taken BEFORE the slimy, slug sighting.

See? The images of that "look" of disgust my angels sometimes have when I enter a room has been replaced with....oh boy. Back to digging through old photographs!

My Daughter's Message

I'm suffering some growing pains, as a parent. I have been blessed with two, wonderfully unique, kind-hearted children (do you feel the "but" coming), but they are both facing challenges that makes my job, as a single mom, more difficult than usual. The three of us are a team, though, and we'll get through this together...we always do.

I sat down at my computer, after being reminded that I was slacking with my entries, ready to journal about the woes/ joys of pre-holiday chaos. I glanced at the picture of the "I Love You" pennies and my heart shifted, so my writing will follow suit. It must have been close to a year ago: I was fairly newly separated and trying to make a home for my children, in the house we are renting. I don't recall the details, but my stress level was, in general, through the roof and I had lost patience with my daughter over something...most likely, it was something insignificant. She went into her brother's room and was, to my relief, entertaining herself quietly for a few minutes. I do recall feeling mildly put-off when she came into the living room and asked me to come see something she had made. We went through the whole "cover your eyes, Mommy...take my hand...I won't let you bump into anything" routine as she led me into her brother's room. She had spread a blanket on the floor and lovingly created the penny message for me. Sweet? Yes! Given the fact that it was in response to my impatience, however, I'd say it went way beyond that.

Years ago, when my son was very young, I saw an interview with John Travolta, on one of the morning news shows. He was talking about his very un-Hollywood, loving, "normal" childhood. He told the interviewer something, about his upbringing, that I will never forget:

"My parents", he said, "celebrated every breath that I took". He added proudly, "There was not a single day of my life when I wasn't absolutely certain of my parents' unconditional love for me."

The key to good parenting: that's it! From the moment I heard that, I realized it was that simple. Easy? No! Simple? Absolutely!

My daughter's beautiful penny message made me recognize that, in spite of my short-comings as a mom, she knows she is loved unconditionally...and she is learning to give that kind of love back!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

It's amazing to me, how our children can, with so little effort, deflate whatever perception of "cool" we might might have thought we've developed over the years. Maybe other moms/ dads will appreciate my latest experience with ego-deflation, at the hands of my 13 year old. Or, maybe, this is a memory I can share with my son, in the future, when his child sticks a pin in his ego! Either way, it's my blog and I can share what I choose to :-)

My 7 year old daughter was watching cartoons this morning and called her brother in, as a catchy commercial came on. Evidently, this was an "inside" thing because they both knew all the words to the jingle and had choreographed several moves to accompany the ad. Not being one to miss out on some early morning fun (and the opportunity to share a lighthearted moment in my children's world), I joined in...well, I did my best to emulate. The Pavlovian response, from my two darlings: a perfectly timed, in unison "Mommmmmmm, STOP!". So much for my spontaneous attempt to add to the levity. With a mild case of bruised pride, I reminded my kids what a cool/ fun mom I am. My son's response and the audible "Pfffffft" of my sense of cool/ fun speak for themselves: "Mom, if I planned a whole day of fun...you wouldn't be anywhere in it!" That sassy bugger laughed himself silly as he headed out the door.

I'm beginning to understand why my mother derives such great joy from her grandchildren....payback time!